our first month

ALL I EVER WANTED TO TELL YOU:

i was really so touched with every single thing u did for me.U might not know.Sometimes your nearness takes my breath away and all the things i want to say can find no voice.Then, in silence I can only hope my eyes will speak my heart.I know it's love when my heart jumps out and whenever i think of myself with you.I know it's love when all I think about is you, when nothing else matters, except being with you and talking to you.i know it's love when all i daydream about is your looks and when i can trust you and tell you all my secrets.when i feel all these things,i know it's love.Whenever i see you my heart jumps.i think of you constantly.Want to be with you always,dream of you everyday and trust you more than anybody.You are the guy,the caring and gentle guy.i was the lucky one.the one to be able to share my life with you.We are the lucky ones to have each other.thanks for the gift(: and all that you have done for me.

My Memories of You

Will always remain

Forever

Present in my heart

Forever is what I think of

Again,I was late.haha.i just got to remember my password.haha.yerrr.nevermind.let's go back to saturday(: hahaha.was really happy that day cause I got to meet HIM again.lols.we went to eat with jamie and desmond.haha.des was indeed a gentleman wey.he fetch us.thanks to HIM=D and then we all were enjoying chatting.hahaha.it's really fun because jamie was here and everything will be fun enough when she's around.cause dibuli oleh saya.ngek ngek ngek.SUNDAY,another happy day for me.I thought it would be a boring day because another couple did not come to church.haha.luckily,I still have HIM to teman.didn't know why HE keep look at me that day.I know i'm weird with the contact lens.yorrrrrr.haha.my heart beats so fast when HE keep stare at my eyes.ask HIM not to stare but HE still did it.arghhhh.made me so shy only.though i sounded uneasy with the way he stare at me,I still felt very happy because all HE see was ME!hahaha.after church service,HE did something.haha.something that i had never expect before.LOL.HE's just so daring.But i'm glad because laughters and smiles are what WE shared together.anti sadness=)

I"m not gonna tolerate

I HATE YOU!i HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!i HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!i HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!i HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!I HATE YOU!
i hate you soooooo much!why are you asking me to think of your feelings?why didn't u try to think of mine?!!!!!!F*** u!u're more selfish than you thought you were.

Lightens my mood

woahhh.so long didn't update my blog.HE went for 'hang san' this morning in menglembu but HE couldn't make it cause of the rain.not long ago,HE appeared right infront of my house.i was so damn shocked.i didn't expect it to be happened.haha.we just talked for few minutes.i think(: THE FIRST MORNING SURPRISE!later on,i went for tuition today.lol.itu KAHWENG seriously so damn blur when HE was doing account.ahaha.first time i'm having tuition with HIM.actually, I didn't expect him to be so funny one.aiyoyo.laugh till stomach pain already.i wanted to thanks a person.she's JAMIE!i was so touched this morning when you said you bought me sandwich and wanna give it to me.but too bad.haha.something came up.thanks alot.i didn't expect that will happened.after tuition,i thought of going parade with HIM but HE suddenly told me HE couldn't go.actually i got bit disappointed but I didn't tell HIM.haha.when I've reached parade,i was walking with my friend.after that,i walked separately.I was alone at cold storage.suddenly.........HE appeared behind me.i was so shocked and happy.really and seriously.haha.i keep asking HIM why wanna play me and i acted i'm angry of it.ahahaha..deep in my heart, i know i'm smiling cause he came((: haha.ANOTHER SURPRISE HE GAVE ME=D i really never thought HE would gave me such surprises.but plsssss.dont give me too often!hahaa.i scared i will faint with your SURPRISES~we went back around 2 something.HE accompany me to take bus.i kept the bus fare's tickets.haha.i want to keep it cause this is the FIRST TIME i took bus with him.i wanna remember it as long as I can:)

The emptiness

Today is my school's report card day.i know i'll be damn bored.and yeah,just as I thought.but there's a bit different this year compare to the previous years cause this year HE teman me all the while when i'm in school.HE take away the loneliness i feel in my heart(: thanks again.one by one,all of my classmates left with THEIR parents.i did have some weird feelings when I saw them.how to say?hmmm.i was really hoping my parents would come and take it for me.but i know is impossible.ya,it was!I accidentally heard meow meow said something to jamie.she said, 'This is the first year my mother did not come and take my report card.' At that same time,I was asking myself, 'how long my parents did not come for the report card day'.And then I realised......since I was primary.I thought I'm used to it.my parents can't come for this special day,can't really celebrate the important events throughout the year.i really thought i'm used to it.but actually i'm not): i still felt sad.still felt lonely for no reason at all. I always tell myself is good also larhh they did not come cause at least they wouldn't be sad for my results and teacher's comments.but deep in my heart, I know I want them to come so much.Am I childish?to some people,they might think I'm weird.but that's how i feel larhh.couldn't escape from it.

Lost with no direction

I vomited at school this morning today.sighh.and then I realised I did not eat much things for few days.I think I did not eat anything for two days though.i broke my record weyyy!haha.i should be happy for it.kidding kidding kidding.ahahaa.i didn't know what happened to my stomach.feeling so uncomfortable the whole day.sad sad sad.but i still can tahan larh.not that lousy.i was planning to stayback today for pingpong meeting and accompany kah yin to greentown mall but i couldn't go): then my class teacher came in and she told us about our position in class.i've never thought i got 2nd last in my class.can anyone imagine it?2ND LAST WEYYY!!no kidding.haih.i was so dissapointed.and what if my parents found out i got such results?will they bury me alive?what should i do larh?i wanted to study but i was so lazy.can I really do well in my SPM?*wondering* what if i cant?i don't even dare to think of it.the struggles i'm facing sometimes might knock me down.but what I can do is just keep going.keep pushing on=[ after school, i chat with my godsister.she is my ex's cousin.she suddenly told me my ex was with a girl that smoke.that moment,i remembered about something.didn't want to mention in details.but i can tell you guys.i felt so angry but i couldn't do anything.i wanna scold her but I can't.i hate her so much.nevermind.i don't want to talk about it anymore.ruined my mood=( today when i got home,there's something that makes me felt happy.kah yin texted me and ask me how am I.haha.i was really so damn happy cause I never thought she would text me.haha.thanks kah yin.i appreciate it alotsa!

Rainbows

MY CUTE LITTLE SIS,HAPPY BIRTHDAY!lastnight,i've been thinking so long.i don't know should i take the first step to talk with her.but if i don't do so,i might lose her forever.i don't want things to be like this.so I wished her lastnight.i waited till exactly 12am and i sent her a msg.haha.i know i'm a coward.i should have wish her with my mouth.but i'm afraid.maybe she doesn't even bother about it.lol.and and she began to talk to me this morning.i'm glad i've settled a problem of mine.i know i still got many things that need to be settle down but i'll slowly do it.bit by bit.i fell down today ehh.gosh!immediately i got blueblacks in my ankle and elbow.arghhhh.when only these blueblacks will leave me larhhh duh?i hate all of them.anyway,back to my story.i went to parade today with HIM and jamie.we went to k-box.we sang and we laughed.haha.after so many days,TODAY is the happiest day.HE really take away all my sorrows.HE got this kind of power in HIM that i think HE don't even realised it.hahaha.swept away all my pains.i'm so sorry.i know i've hurted you when i doubt about what you said.i promise you it will never happened again okay?




FOR YOU:
You melt my heart with your eyes,
You warm my soul with your voice,
You break my insecurities with your touch,
I get the best feeling in the world,
when you say hi or even smile at me,
because I know,
even if its just for a second,
that i've crossed your mind.